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Pet Loss and Pet Related Grief
Unresolved loss
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Unresolved Loss - when your pet does not come home
I often hear people suffering from unresolved loss say that it is
harder to cope as you do not "know". You don't know if, or when to
 grieve,
or when to give up hope and accept a pet is not coming home again.
Some people give up far too soon, some people torture themselves
looking at all costs for years (and occasionally they do find their
pet). It is hard to know when to stop looking so you can get some
closure and move forward with your life.
People with unresolved pet loss may experience distressing
nightmares, poor sleeping, crying, feeling disconnected or stopped -
unable to get on with their life until something "happens". You may
over eat or under eat. You may feel like not working as you're
depressed and/or tearful. A counsellor could help you deal with
these feelings before there becomes a need for further intervention
such as medication.
You could feel paranoid and start to imagine crazy theories. You
might think your pet was stolen (highly unlikely in NZ) or view each
passing dog with suspicion that they ate or hurt your missing pet.
Sometimes grabbing on to one "theory" can be dangerous as
you may stop
checking out "all" the options. For example if you become
convinced your pet was stolen whereas in
reality, it had simply strayed, you may not check the obvious places
for a lost stray such as the SPCA or pound - and miss finding your
pet...A lot of people think their
pets were stolen, yet this is very rare in our experience,
especially with cats.
Our lost pet advice and strategies will help ensure you do
EVERYTHING you can, especially in the first days and weeks. Do not
wait and see, try not to sit on the couch crying all day and
therefore doing nothing. Work through each step in the checklist, so
you know you have done all that you can possibly do. You may well
find your pet and * if * you don't, then you will not be kicking
yourself further down the track "if only I had done "x"..."
This beautiful poem "Gone But Not
Forgotten" may also help. |
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